Ghajini In A Nutshell.

I know, I know… stale posts, but what can I do? I just woke up from a month long slumber. Also, this one is packed with images, so please be patient with the page load time.

Coming to the point, let’s salute the top grosser of 2008. It completely grossed me out.

Here’s a summary for those who couldn’t sit throughout the entire ordeal or died of brain inactivity midway through the movie :

Since the target audience is 7-10 year old kids, I’ll narrate it as a fairy tale, complete with colourful illustrations and shit.

So listen up little kiddies…

Once upon a time, in a fairy tale land far far away, lived a girl named Asin. Asin as in a loud, whiny, stupid bitch who couldn’t act even if whacked in the head with a rod.

Stupid Bitch.

Stupid Bitch.

She would prance around like something was stuck up her ass and irritate everyone with her whinty whine, blahity blah, kachar pachar kachar pachar all day long.

asin02np8

Then, an awesome gentleman named Ghajini decided to end this menace with a swift, gentle swing.

Hole-in-one's skull hoy!

Hole-in-one's skull hoy!

The kingdom felt indebted to him and even erected a statue in his honour.

Saddam

Then the bitch’s moronic boyfriend shows up. Oh my God, look out!

Hey, what's going on ... what the fuck?!!

Hey, what's going on ... what the fuck?!!

Yaaaarrrrggghhhh whoaaaaaaaarrgghh yaaabbadabbadooo why did you kill her oh boo hoo why?

Logic goes missing and the era of vengeance begins. Meanwhile, the subjects have fallen asleep.

The Incredibly Idiotic Hulk goes on a mindless rampage.

the-incredible-hulk-1562

The chase continues for what seems like a Sheila Dikshit term (eternity).

Aamir (left), Ghajini (right).

Aamir (left), Ghajini (right).

Ghajini is killed. Complete tragedy, I’m crying me eyeballs out.

propwatermelon

A brave martyr has passed away. A noble soul has departed. The subjects are sad. 😥

people20crying20wtc

Aamir then remembers what a stupid bitch she was. He regrets his actions. As a backup, he tattoos the most important piece of information on his forehead so that he wouldn’t forget it ever again. The subjects forgive him.

aamirtattoo

The End. Anyone still breathing at the end of the movie lived happily ever after (with permanent brain damage, though).

After-effects : Dumb retarded kids who idolised Aamir Khan after Taare Zameen Par are now shit-scared. They believe that Aamir uncle will whack the fuck out of them with a rusted rod if they do poorly in school. Parents, however, are happy. EPIC WIN FOR EVERYONE!

Go and study or I'll smash your head open grrraaaarrrghhh!!

Go and study or I'll smash your head open grrraaaarrrghhh!!

Lessons learnt :

1. This film is not related to the Mahmud of Ghazni in any way.

mahmud

2. Always wears a helmet.

bike_helmet

3. In case I forget, this is a picture of my wife:

monica-bellucci-picture-2

4. Life can be so fucking unfair sometimes – Asin killed (fair), Jiah Khan lives (unfair), Ghajini killed (unfair).

5. Tom Hanks did Philadelphia, Forrest Gump, Cast Away and then something like Da Vinci Code. Aamir does Lagaan, Dil Chahta Hai, Rang De Basanti, Taare Zameen Par and then Ghajini. Proves that they are humans after all.

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18 responses to “Ghajini In A Nutshell.

  1. haha..dumass moronic boyfriend indeed 😀
    not to forget incessantly screaming and spitting all over the place …
    btw someone please kill the irritiating med student too :S

  2. the med student’s only doing her job leia! lol!
    this post’s close to the kerala one.. that made me laugh the loudest.
    check out malena, its an italian movie with belucci.
    whaddap dawg?!

  3. random bystander

    Wait till you watch chandni chowk to china.Akshay kumar does a chinese ghajini,replete with moronic chinky talk and lots of shaved legs and chinky eyes.Male 😐

  4. oh right sharath, my bad…med students chase bloodthirsty killers and do raunchy item numbers all the time! There..that’s one more thing to practice for my entrance exams.
    but seriously, i don’t even know why she’s in the storyline..and maybe memento was critically acclaimed or whatever but that was like… one and a half hour. Three hourse of mr. I’ve-got-eyeballs-and-i’m-not-afraid-to-bulge-them and the well, stupid-whiny-bitch got on my nerves.

  5. alright leia! yes she was irritating. even in the tamil version too.
    hey! entrance exams? you too?
    jeez.. and i thought were were a rare species…
    boy. i m so so so impressed by slumdog millionaire now. watched it?

  6. Haha…nope ur not a rare species…so claim the 15 lakh + people we’re gonna be competing with for like..7 seats in some lame collge in the middle of nowhere :S (gaa…senior year stress leaking out 😦
    but it looks like ur talking abt some other entrance xams. . you see i’m still in high school..:S writing my boards this year.
    aaand slumdog millionaire ..sadly no :S I’ve been having problems with my bandwith so no dvd rip yet 😦 and besides, i have to finally get to doing hypothetical “studying” for my prelims :S

  7. lol, is it just me or do i use waaaaay too may emoticons? 😀

  8. Awesome stuff. Get a room you two! 😛

  9. course not! our darling sachin too uses em! all the best for your entrance!

  10. haha ..speaking of sachin..what’s with the toppling baraatis and the hot wife man? 😀
    profit:just in case u wrnt kidding…Congratulations!

  11. haha..speaking of sachin..what’s with the toppling baraatis and the hot wife man?
    profit: Just in case u wrnt kidding…Congratulations! Was himesh at the wedding ? 😉

  12. Himesh WAS the bride, Leia. 🙂

  13. *sigh* I knew you two were meant to be!
    *cracks knuckles* nazar na lag jaye!
    But now, now sachin, u’ll have to start being more supportive of his *cough* …multifarious talents.
    Wedding return gift idea #1 A DVD box set of Karzzzzzzzzzz (the z’s are vital to the relationship!)
    idea #2 Special limited edition himesh’s you-too-can-sing-like-me nasal congestion kits (with complimentary earplugs from me –the least i can do!)..
    lmao …I could keep this up forever! 😉
    neway *wipes tear* good luck you two!

  14. Leia,

    Hahahaha! That’s a great idea!

    Btw, you would be glad to know that the wedding night was Tandoori! 😉

  15. tananana …xD
    lmao..*sigh*..an everlasting tribute to the art of music…tananana..
    tansen wd be jealous 😦
    oh and btw…seeing how loony u(and most of my friends) are for metallica, i decided to give it a shot!
    so..got any recomms up there for a metal noob?

  16. My favourite albums by Metallica :
    Master of Puppets
    Kill ‘Em All

    And do try Iron Maiden – just any song would do.

    My favourite albums :
    The Number of the Beast
    Powerslave
    Fear of the Dark

  17. Hahahahaha….man that WAS AN AWESOME take on the film.
    U ought to be a movie reviewer to warn theunsuspecting victims that end up watching the kinda crap bollywood doles out thses daze!!!!!!

  18. You took the words right outta my mouth. Well, not the exact words 😐 But you got the general feeling down well.

    Yes, I watched the entire movie.

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