I know, I know… stale posts, but what can I do? I just woke up from a month long slumber. Also, this one is packed with images, so please be patient with the page load time.
Coming to the point, let’s salute the top grosser of 2008. It completely grossed me out.
Here’s a summary for those who couldn’t sit throughout the entire ordeal or died of brain inactivity midway through the movie :
Since the target audience is 7-10 year old kids, I’ll narrate it as a fairy tale, complete with colourful illustrations and shit.
So listen up little kiddies…
Once upon a time, in a fairy tale land far far away, lived a girl named Asin. Asin as in a loud, whiny, stupid bitch who couldn’t act even if whacked in the head with a rod.
She would prance around like something was stuck up her ass and irritate everyone with her whinty whine, blahity blah, kachar pachar kachar pachar all day long.
Then, an awesome gentleman named Ghajini decided to end this menace with a swift, gentle swing.
The kingdom felt indebted to him and even erected a statue in his honour.
Then the bitch’s moronic boyfriend shows up. Oh my God, look out!
Yaaaarrrrggghhhh whoaaaaaaaarrgghh yaaabbadabbadooo why did you kill her oh boo hoo why?
Logic goes missing and the era of vengeance begins. Meanwhile, the subjects have fallen asleep.
The Incredibly Idiotic Hulk goes on a mindless rampage.
The chase continues for what seems like a Sheila Dikshit term (eternity).
Ghajini is killed. Complete tragedy, I’m crying me eyeballs out.
A brave martyr has passed away. A noble soul has departed. The subjects are sad. 😥
Aamir then remembers what a stupid bitch she was. He regrets his actions. As a backup, he tattoos the most important piece of information on his forehead so that he wouldn’t forget it ever again. The subjects forgive him.
The End. Anyone still breathing at the end of the movie lived happily ever after (with permanent brain damage, though).
After-effects : Dumb retarded kids who idolised Aamir Khan after Taare Zameen Par are now shit-scared. They believe that Aamir uncle will whack the fuck out of them with a rusted rod if they do poorly in school. Parents, however, are happy. EPIC WIN FOR EVERYONE!
Lessons learnt :
1. This film is not related to the Mahmud of Ghazni in any way.
2. Always wears a helmet.
3. In case I forget, this is a picture of my wife:
4. Life can be so fucking unfair sometimes – Asin killed (fair), Jiah Khan lives (unfair), Ghajini killed (unfair).
5. Tom Hanks did Philadelphia, Forrest Gump, Cast Away and then something like Da Vinci Code. Aamir does Lagaan, Dil Chahta Hai, Rang De Basanti, Taare Zameen Par and then Ghajini. Proves that they are humans after all.