Shhh! Did You Hear Something?

Well, hello.

Today, I want all of you to meet a bunch of failures – the worst in their field. Please take a moment to feel sad about them, okay?

Luciano Pavarotti – Italian tenor – Fail.

Andrea Bocelli – Italian tenor – Bigger fail.

Placido Domingo – Spanish tenor – El failure.

Jose Carreras – – Spanish tenor – El epico failure.

Bruce Dickinson, Rob Halford, Robert Plant, Ronnie Dio, Ozzy Osbourne – Heavy metal vocalists – Embarrassing high pitched fails.

John Lennon, Paul McCartney – The Beatles – Beaterrible fails.

Eric Clapton, Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen – Rock vocalists –
Grammy winning failures.

S.D Burman, R.D Burman, Kishore Kumar, Mohammad Rafi – Indian singers – Some more award winning, critically acclaimed failures.

Lata Mangeshkar, Asha Bhosale – Indian singers – nightin-fails of India.

You ask me, why do all these people fail? What do they have in common that results in their failure?

Answer: their voice. They have just one voice. Can you believe that? Just one stupid, lame, boring voice.

In today’s music industry, only losers work with just one voice. The more talented folk develop a second voice to add an extra dimension to their already dynamic range. Case in point – read this to believe your ears. Some more links here and here.

This story has spread like a wild forest fire and has got the Indian blogosphere abuzz with posts. Suddenly, swine flu doesn’t seem like a threat anymore.

I dropped everything and double-checked the article just to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating or something. It’s as if one voice wasn’t enough to enthrall the audiences to the point of aural orgasms, the Nasal Whiner goes ahead with a surgery to get a SECOND voice. Wrong surgery, mate.

The article also mentions something about the new voice having a “base middle octave”. Now I have very poor understanding of music, notes, types of voices etc., so I just Googled this term and found this –

A base middle octave is powerful enough to match the resonance frequency of large buildings, trigger destructive oscillations and cause absolute mayhem.

Click here to watch Himesh testing his new voice atop a bridge.

Shit happens a lot more frequently these days, it seems. Before you even know it, His Capped Suckiness is going to unleash his second voice on the world. Do yourselves a favour and pierce your respective eardrums.

Cause

HIM.

Effect

Jesus H. Christ

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2 responses to “Shhh! Did You Hear Something?

  1. I’m bursting into Goofy’s laughter. Ahew eh.. 😛 Nasal Suckiness…. Cream comment..LOL

  2. boy you did make one mistake here.. bob dylan does have two voices.. didnt you catch nashville skyline?

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