Everyone seems to have a nice social cause to support these days. I am feeling left out because I have none, goddamnit.
It tickles me when I see how most people, in all their pious propriety and hypocritical humility, feel the need to support some or the other ridiculous “social cause” without ever realizing what it’s about. I prefer to call them the Holier-Than-Thou Foundation (HTTF). The kinds who still carry the vague, muddled concepts of morals they learnt when they were kids.
The Holier-Than-Thou Foundation consider it obligatory, no, their “moral duty” to do something which will ease their conscience and automatically render a shiny halo over their overblown heads. They will create Facebook groups, they will spam your inbox with mails, they will wear stupid T-shirts, they will parrot out the same done-to-death phrases they heard from some lame celebrity, they will basically do everything they can EXCEPT GETTING OFF THEIR ARSE AND ACTUALLY CONTRIBUTING TO THE REAL CAUSE.
They are everywhere. They ask me to update my status for an hour to support some cause. They ask me to wear a certain coloured wrist band for another cause. They ask me to forward mails to everyone in my list, and question my patriotism or even my character should I choose to delete it. They ask me to “stop printing this e-mail, unless it’s really necessary.” And of course, when everything else fails, they light candles and sit next to a historical monument, most likely with a banner that has a witty line such as “Youth against –social issue here–” written in gay pink font. All this with a smug smile of satisfaction on their faces.
Ask them to take a weekend off to spend at an old age home or an orphanage, and suddenly “they are busy”. Ask them to take out their wallets for one of the causes and “they’ll get back to you soon”. Ask them to step forward and raise their voice against an issue and “they remember there’s something on the stove again”. That’s convenient, isn’t it? Why to get your hands dirty when you can change the world while sitting in front of your computer?
If you don’t get it, let me make it simple: there’s no compulsion to do something good. Karma hasn’t been proven scientifically. St. Peter himself has said that he is getting super bored with his job as the chowkidar/watchman of Pearly Gates, since no one has gone there in ages. So you see, you don’t need to do good just for the sake for it – in all probability, you’re going to hell anyway.
So the next time one of these HTTF moralfags comes around whining “Letzz spread de awarenezzz guyzz”, here is my suggestion:
1. Smash their teeth in.
2. Take a print out of the following images.
3. Tape it to their forehead.
Go ahead – choose your own social cause, people, and tell me if you have more. Oh, and if you forward this to 34,434 people in the next 20 minutes, the only outcome would be Google blacklisting you as a spambot, and maybe a lawsuit for cybercrime. Your love life will keep sucking as it is.
UPDATE: Related reading.